Safari Hat Boy! 

Happy Boy 

Caiden and Gavin - Cousins 

20 Weeks

Mommy is so proud of his big boy! Last week I was rocking you, I knew you were tired but you just kept wiggling and wiggling so i got fed up and I put you in your bed awake. You cried for about 10 minutes and all of a sudden, it's quiet. Oh my gosh! You put your self to sleep! Let me just say, every other time we tried this you screamed bloody murder until we just couldn't take it any more and picked you up. You finally learned how to put your self to sleep, with help by your thumb, which by the way you have never done that before either. Now every night we put you in bed awake and there is hardly a peep from you. Naps are a different story, you still like to give us a hard time when we put you down awake but every once in a while you go to sleep without a hitch. We are getting there.

You have also slept all the way through the night five nights in a row now! Sometimes you wake up and start crying but if I give you a few minutes you find your thumb and fall back to sleep on your own. :) Yay!! Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the 5:00 am feeding and snuggle but it is nice to know you can handle the whole night on your own.

I Love You Sweetheart,
Mommy

Go Team! 

Hugging the beanie baby 

Lil Builder 

18 weeks 3 days

If daddy gets grey hairs he knows who to blame. Savannah was visiting and sleeping in your crib when you fell asleep in my arms. I carried you upstairs to lay you down to sleep on my bed. I hedged you in with pillows on both sides of the bed so you wouldn't roll off. I didn't put one at your head because I saw that it was a long way to the edge of the bed for you to scooch, and you usually roll over first when you wake up, so I scolded myself for being paranoid, and left you to sleep in peace.

About an hour after I laid you down I heard a loud thump upstairs. Panic gripped me, and I must have gone white as I raced upstairs. My mind was racing and I prayed you were conscious. When I got to the room I saw the bed was empty, and I am sure you were crying but for some reason I couldn't hear it until I set eyes on you. My thoughts said "He's conscious he's crying and all his appendages are moving, and that's good." then the doubt slipped in "what if its a slight fracture? Don't pick him up and call the ambulance." Despite those thoughts I swooped you up and hugged you tight, my heart broken for my poor little boy. As I brought you downstairs my heart was still racing and grandma and grandpa were very compassionate towards us both. You were already smiling by this time and that made me happy.

The rest of the night I fought tears trying not to blame myself and even now I am a bit teary. Grandpa had a good time razing me for scaring him half to death with all my stunts when I was little where I hurt myself. While he was reassuring me that it was fine I tried to express myself by saying, "It's not what happened it's what COULD HAVE happened that has me upset." grandpa smirked at me. In that moment, all the times I was playing with fireworks or jumping off the garage and climbing 30 feet up a tree came back to me, and I could hear grandpas voice after I told him "It's fine dad nothing happened. I'm fine." and he would tell me "Son, It's not what happened that worries me it's what could have happened." In that moment I found a new bond with my daddy, and a new fear for things to come. I felt bad all over again for pretending Rob fell out of the tree in the house in Elgin, and for riding my BigWheel in the street.

I can only pray that God watches over you like he did for me, because daddies don't really see everything we just know a lot about probability, and that's what scares us the most.

I Love you Son,
Daddy

18 weeks

You are making the craziest noise lately. It makes me laugh. :) It's kind of a raspy growl and I think you were copying me when you started doing it, but now you just keep on doing it. It cracks me up!

Precious 

I love my Uncle! 

Trinity is Jealous. 

I love this picture. :) 

17 weeks 3 days

The other day I was picking you up from your nonnies house and you were on your back on the couch and you started talking to me when I walked up. The funny thing about you talking was it wasn't the regular cooing talk, but you had this raspy sound to your voice. I thought it was funny sounding so I duplicated it and you smiled really big and let out a big laugh. It was the first time I ever heard you laugh. It was the strangest and most precious sound I had ever heard at the same time. I think it knocked my heart loose. Naturally, I continued to talk to you in the raspy throaty voice and you laughed and imitated me. Now we can't get you to stop making those noises, and last night you must have done it for 5 minutes straight I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. The important thing was we got you to laugh for mommy. She really wanted to hear you laugh and you let out a few squeals for her which made her and I very happy.

16 weeks 1 day

Last night at about midnight I heard you cough and make whining noises. I got up to check on you and you were lying in a giant pool of vomit. The yucky smelly kind not the cute baby kind. I pulled you out and started to clean you up. After I got you to stop screaming your head off, you were making a pitiful little humming/moaning noise and you looked really pale. Your mommy and I were worried about you. It was the first time you got "sick". We brought you into our bedroom and I held you on my chest and you went to sleep. I put you back in your bed at 4:42am and you were doing well. I checked on you this morning and you don't have a fever or anything, but you still look pale. That could just be mummie's skin color in you. :) Either way we were a little frightened, but we resisted the urge to call the pediatrician and instead read a book to figure out not to panic. LOL! Yay us!

16 weeks (4 months)

Well kiddo this is the official we don't have to cater to your every whiney outburst time. It's actually kinda cool because when you wake up to eat at 4am I just feed you burp you and lay you back in your bed still awake and you fall right to sleep. I don't have to tell you how cool that is, and even if i did you wouldn't understand till you had a kid and that is waaay too far off to think about.

My Love

Lori,

About 5 years ago we were going through a REALLY hard time, and you gave me a little keep sake that I will cherish forever. I loved it so much I memorized the saying on it. The poem was called The Little Boat of You and Me and it reads.

"The Little boat of you and me went sailing on the deep blue sea. We weathered wind and crashing waves, but we were strong and true and brave. And we were still in love so we, kept sailing on the deep blue sea. The little boat of you and me."

You will probably never know how much that truly meant to me. It was my lowest point. I wanted you to know despite any tough times, and we've had a few, I will never jump ship. I love our little boat, and our new little passenger. I Love You, purely and truly.

Love,
Mike

14 weeks (3 months 2 weeks)

Last night grandma was holding you and I was talking to grandpa while he was on the computer. I happened to look over, and you were staring at me with eyes wide as saucers. I was instantly melted. I smiled at you and you got a great big grin on your face and kind of curled up like you do when you're really excited. I gave you a big kiss and told grandma how much I love you. I am wondering, when you are old enough to read this, will really mean anything to you, or is it just going to be something your dad wrote. Alot of things go through my head in regards to you. I pray that I will be able to show you this when you graduate high school, but right now I just take it one day at a time.

Peek-A-Boo! 

13 weeks 3 days

I am so happy that the cousins get to come over more this Summer. It's crazy how much I love those kids as much as I love my own little boy. I wonder if that's abnormal. They are my sisters kids, but I worry about them and love them like I love my own child. I can't wait for them to grow up together, and to one day share their own stories about growing up. Maybe they will raise their kids to be close. One day.