Being the second oldest of 6 I have always had the mind set that if something happened to my parents, my older brother and I would have to take care of the kids. (not that this was a practical thought process, but that's where I was in my head.) This thought pattern was developed when I was very young so I always went through scenarios of what would I do if my parents died. It was a sad thought, but one I was prepared to face with strength if it should occur.
What I hadn't figured into my simple equation was the not so simple arrival of my first child. Now that I have my son, not a day goes by that I don't think, "I wonder what my dad was thinking in this situation?", or "I should ask my dad about this.". All of a sudden I am speaking and identifying with my father in a whole new way. It is a peculiar thing, now that I am almost 30 I need him more than ever. I can't imagine losing him.
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