The Sweetest Wakeup

Little Boy,

Yesterday reminded me of when I was a little boy. When I was little my daddy worked a lot too. My daddy was tired all the time. He used to come home late at night and my mommy would keep us up so we could see him. (Sound familiar?) We would sit on the recliner with him and watch Dr. Who. Your Uncle Robert would sit on my daddies lap and I would sit on his shoulders, and sometimes I would fall asleep. I liked to fall asleep because my daddy would carry me upstairs and put me to bed give me a kiss and tell me he loves me. One time my daddy had to work third shift. Thats late at night when everyone is sleeping. So when my daddy was sleeping during the day my mommy would want us to be very quiet so we wouldn't wake him up because she said he would get angry. The funny thing was that if I came in his room and woke him up he would always hug and kiss me and smile. I don't think I ever understood why he wasn't angry with me until yesterday.

You don't know it because you are too little, but I haven't gotten a lot of sleep in the last couple months because of classes and work so I am tired a lot. Yesterday I had about 30 minutes before I had to go to class so I took a nap on the couch while you were napping upstairs. About 15 minutes into my nap Aunt Nancy came over to watch you so I could go to class and you had woken up so she got you and brought you downstairs. She was going to take you into the kitchen to eat I think, but you broke free and sprinted towards me. I must have heard the little footsteps because I started opening my eyes just as you headbutted me. I was jarred awake only to see you with one tiny hand on your forehead grinning and giggling. Now I understand why my daddy never minded me interrupting his sleep. It was still the sweetest little wakeup.

I love you so much

Love Daddy

I will follow you into the dark...

Lori,

I just wanted to write you a little note to tell you how much I love you. I know work and school has been kind of crazy with all the time it takes up, and I know it won't get any better once I start my clinical time, but I am thankful for the time it has taken me away from you because I realize just how much I love you in my life. I realize, not only how much I need you, but how much I enjoy your company. I guess time and routine has a way of dulling the senses to the incredible blessings we have in our lives. You are one of those blessings to me, and I thank God that I can live the only life I have with you, and given the chance I would do it all again. You are and have always been the only girl for me, and I hope I tell you that enough. I was listening to the radio on my way to work today and this song came on the radio, and I thought of you and cried. I don't know if I am just stressed out of on my period or what, but I do know one thing. I love you as much as any man has ever loved any woman on this earth.

Mike

Will you remember?

Will you remember the things I said,
when on mommies belly I'd rest my head?
Will you remember when I held you tight,
you fussed and kicked and cried all night?
Will you remember your first tooth,
we tried so hard to comfort you?
Will you remember falling on the foor,
and daddy bursting through the door?
Will you remember saying "dah" one day?
I didn't know you spoke that way.
Will you remember family hugs,
or how to talk just like the Pugs?
Mommies and Daddies cherish those days,
and hold them tight till we pass away.

I Love Gavin Huggies!

You are getting to be so loving lately. You will come over to me and I will say "Gavin give me huggies!" and you will smile real big and put your arms out for me to pick you up and you will give me the most wonderful hug and sometimes even kiss after kiss after kiss. Also lately when we tell you we love you it sounds like you are trying to say it back. You are growing up to be such a sweet and loving boy, your daddy and I love you so much!

Love, Mommy

Heartache

Gavin,

I was so happy to see you this morning! You walked up the stairs by yourself - like mommy and I don't like you to do - and came walking into the bathroom with a big smile on your face to greet me. I gave you a hug and kiss and put you down, and you walked off as if you had more pressing things to attend to. I can't get over how quickly you are growing up. I know in your head you think you are big, but you are such a little boy. You gave mommy and I a big hug, like you do when all of our heads touch together, and you grab our necks. I will tell you a little secret, it melts our hearts when you hug us like that. But alas, daddies have to go to work so I left. When I got to work this morning I logged into my computer like normal. A folder was open on my desktop with some photographs in it and I clicked on one we took of you about a year ago. My heart began to ache. I longed for another neck hug and a smile, but I know I have to wait till I get home to get one. So I called mommy instead and she put you on the phone, and for the first time you actually started talking to me, "hah da" you said, followed quickly by some gibberish and some high pitched words in your Daisey voice and a tiny little "dahdie" as mommy got back on the phone. I absolutely loved our little conversation and I can't wait to get home to chase you around and try to decipher some more gibberish.

I love you,
Dahdie

A Baby's Hug

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Gavin in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking. Suddenly, Gavin squealed with glee and said, "Hi." He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, as he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map. We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists.

"Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster," the man said to Gavin

My husband and I exchanged looks, "What do we do?" Gavin continued to laugh and answer, "Hi."

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, "Do ya patty cake?

Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek-a-boo."

Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk. My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Gavin, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot.

The old man sat poised between me and the door. "Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Gavin," I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Gavin leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's "pick-me-up" position. Before I could stop him, Gavin had propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship.

Gavin in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time. I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Gavin in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, "You take care of this baby."

Somehow I managed, "I will," from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Gavin from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, "God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift."

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Gavin in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Gavin so tightly, and why I was saying, "My God, my God, forgive me."

I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, "Are you willing to share your son for a moment?" when He shared His for all eternity. The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me, "To enter the Kingdom of God, we must become as little children."

This story was forwarded to me as a an email, but I was so touched by the little boy in the story and how closely it resembled Gavins bahavior at 15 months that I had to post it here.

If only we could keep these things in the forefront of our minds at all times.

Happy Birthday Baby! - Gavin is 1 today

That was then







Mommy and I were talking about what we were doing one year ago yesterday. I either had the day off of work, or I got off early we are not sure, but we remember going to Biaggis' and talking about you. You were mere hours form coming into this world, and we were completely in wonderment of what it would be like to have a baby of our own. It was a nervous night and the next day we got to meet you. It has been an absolute pleasure raising a little boy like yourself.
This is now!

This little light of mine

Gavin,

In getting to know you I am getting to know the little me. I was talking to my uncle Pete and he mentioned that when I was your age I had the same type of thumb callousness from sucking my thumb that you have right now from sucking yours. It made me think back to the time your grandma put this nasty liquid on my thumb to get me to stop sucking it, and I would suck on it and spit it into my pillow until I couldn't taste it any more. I think I was about 12 years old when I finally stopped sucking my thumb. It was a really old age to finally quit, and it was tough, but I was tougher I guess. It just took your daddy a while. I am really enjoying all the kisses you have started giving us. Your mommy and I are so happy that we can ask for kisses and you will give them to us as often as we ask. I'll tell you a secret, we have to control ourselves so we don't wear you out because we can kiss you all day long. It is that wonderful. It's even better than ice cream and candy if you can imagine that. I would trade the entire contents of Willy Wonkas factory for just one Gavin kiss.

I love you,

Daddy

I Do

Today is the 7 year anniversary of the day your daddy proposed to me. I know you will want to know this story as I would tell it and just in case I never get the chance...This is how it went...It was a ususal Saturday morning, I was at the ice rink teaching skate school, it was right before my last class and Lori (my skating coach) asked me if I wanted to play hide the beanie baby with her class for the last ten minutes of class. I thought this was kinda wierd because she has never asked me to play before but, whatever, sounded like a good idea to me. So the last ten minutes come along and we get our classes together and start to play (I should probably tell you how this game is played, each child has a beanie baby and there are a bunch of orange cones on the ice, the teacher takes all the beanie babies and hides them under the cones, then the kids find their beanie baby. The kids love it.) Well, after a few rounds Lori decides that is my turn to find the beanies, (this was wierd to me too because the kids were the only ones to ever find the beanies, not the teachers) so the kids hide them all and I start looking. So, I'm looking under the cones and I'm finding the beanies left and right when I come across a little box, weired, but whatever I just pick it up and keep looking for the beanies. Then Lori asks me "Aren't you going to open the box?" Just then, your daddy skated onto the ice, ever so gracefully, (he almost fell. hehehe) and I open the box and he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. He went all out, in the background he played "Say it" on the loud speaker and had a bunch of little girls hold a huge sign saying "Will you marry me Lori?" It was amazing, I was blown away. Everyone was in on it, Uma and Opa and Grandma and Papa were there, practically everyone knew but me. It was the only time I have ever been completely surprised. What a perfect time.

Love, Mommy

Happy Valentines Day Mommy!

Daddy and I worked very hard making a card for you. On the outside it said we love you! We used glitter pens to make it shiney, but daddy wouldn't let me play with them yet. I wonder what they taste like? Maybe next year. *giggle* On the inside it said "Thiiiiiiiiiis Much!" and daddy traced my hands!
But the big suprise was waiting for you when you came in the door! We got a brand new onsie and put a special little message on it for you.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!

Valentines Day

Lori,

Should I have saved the last post for today? I don't think so, but on this manufactured day of love I struggle to give you more of everything I have. I feel like I can never give you enough to show my love. Valentines Day is a nationally recognized marker that I haven't made the world I want for you. I know that sounds a little un-Valentines Day, but if this is the day to share our hearts with the one we love then I have done that.

All I have to give you is me, and I feel I am not a great gift, but I pray that God will understand that he has my mind but you have my heart and soul.

I love you today as I always have,
Mike

Thank You

Thank You for believing in me when I fell to my lowest point
Thank You for nudging me when I can't keep my mouth shut
Thank You for trusting me when I did not deserve your trust
Thank You for holding me when I couldn't hold up
Thank You for seeing me for who I could be and not who I was
Thank You for understanding me when my logic missed the mark
Thank You for staying patient with me when I had no patience left
Thank You for loving me when I felt unlovable
Thank You for supporting me in everything I do
Thank You for joining me in raising this little boy
Thank You for being the wonderfully unique woman that you are

This lifes journey is only worth taking with you by my side.

In all the world I Love You Alone.

Love Deeply

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.

-- A.W. Pinero

Life in Pictures

I'm kinda in Love with these two!

Quote

Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of pleasures, costs nothing, and conveys much.

-- Erastus Wiman

A NEWBORN'S CONVERSATION WITH GOD

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I must leave now, what do I call this angel?"

God said, "You will simply call her, "Mommy."

So kiss me...

The day has arrived. A couple days ago Mommy was putting you to bed and she told you to say goodnight to daddy, and I said gimme a kiss big boy and you leaned right over and gave me a kiss. Uhhh Houston we have a problem. Daddy was not ready for such a moment. I just about started sobbing, but I think I was too shocked. Mommy and I were both shocked.

Since then you have given real kisses to Papa and Mommy and I think Uncle Jason. You won't know how much that little kiss, slobber and all, meant to your daddy until you have a little boy of your own, and you wait for months for him to show you he loves you in a way you can understand. Then when that moment arrives you are just not ready. You think you are ready, but you're not. It's like the moment in Fight Club when Jack finds out he is Tyler Durden.

You struck your daddy silly.

(Pictured Auntie Michelle and Cousin Jack)

Happy 5th Birthday Trinity!

OK the word is out Gavin loves the puggies. Numerous times we find him sitting there laughing at them as the play tug-o-war with a toy. In fact he will even jump in there and get a hand on the toy himself. If they are playing and they move someplace else he quickly gets down and chases them. The pugs don't seem to mind at all.

I was thinking about the fact that small dogs have long lives usually sometimes 13 or more years. Gavin could be 10 years old when the time comes for our puggies to go to the happy farm. It's a shame people can't visit that farm. :)

If only we knew...

I always wondered what I would be able to say to my kids that would make them say "WOW! You're old!". Well kids...I am older than the Internet. That's right; when I was a boy there was no Internet! Fancy home computers didn't exist either. The coolest electronic device we had was a calculator watch, and it was Huge. To this day I don't know what the hell the point of a calculator watch is, but the commercial made you feel like you were James Bond if you had one. James Bond did A LOT of long division right? Right?

The reason I bring up the Internet is to poorly segwey and tell another story which ties these two seemingly unrelated things together, in case you are wondering where I came up with this crackpot idea, just search the Internet for Photo Orbs. Despite it's shoddy pseudo-scientific origins this crackpot idea is one I would like to believe.

If you didn't hit the link I will sum it up for you. Have you ever taken a picture and noticed those little anomolies in the photograph they look like a little orb of light? Some Internet folk believe that those anomolies are spirits watching the person in the photograph.

Gavin hasn't had a remarkable number of these show up, but when they do I always like to think that I caught his Abuelita or his Papa spending time with him.

A picture is worth a thousand words, or in this case a thousand I LOVE YOU'S!

I LOVE YOU BIG BOY!

Cousins